If you can't say No, you can't say Yes!
Do you sometimes find yourself saying Yes when your body, emotions and mind are saying No?
After saying Yes, suddenly things seem inconvenient or the other person is not as grateful as you think they should be.
Left unattended, the unsaid No congeals into resentment, or perhaps those cavernous feelings of overwhelm, "It’s all too hard". If I leave it too long, I will find my migraine says No for me.
So why do we say Yes, when we mean No?
Usually we are trying to avoid the discomfort of saying No. We want to be liked, we want to be seen to be accommodating, up for anything, collegial and have our ‘shit together’.
I find that is often my inner good girl who says Yes, when the rest of me wants to say No. But the good girl gets the upper hand in the moment because I don’t want to be seen as troublesome, or 'difficult'.
If only I could say No, without anyone ever disapproving or being disappointed. Like you, I have been trained that being a woman, means never making anyone else uncomfortable, especially a man.
For every Yes when you honestly mean No another part of your heart and your power gets silenced.
However if you can’t say No, you can never truly say Yes!
We all know how it feels when someone said Yes to us, but their whole energy and complaints remind us that the Yes was never real.
There is vibrancy and joy in saying Yes to things you want to do. Even when you honestly say Yes to difficult things, you feel up to the challenge with a little bit of excitement. There is courage in authentically saying both yes and no.
Learn more practical ways to own your Yes!
The monthly Authentic Relationships workshop series offers you practical strategies so you can say what you really need to say and to stand your ground with courage and grace. These workshops are a place where you can build your confidence to more honestly say No, and withstand the discomfort and enjoy the power of a genuine YES!