The Story of Women and Power

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Sometimes the biggest issue I think I have is ‘managing’ everyone else’s feelings. Somehow I ended up with this life-long feeling I am not only responsible for how everyone around me feels, but also for ‘fixing’ it and getting them back to feeling happy. And let’s make no mistake about it, society and in turn plenty of people in my life encouraged this belief and pattern.

So how does this change??

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Artwork by Christian Schloe

The Power of Permission

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No matter how our lives look on the outside, what our career path is, whom we have intimacy with, where we live or what we do, we are all longing for healthy relationships. Firstly with ourselves, and then with others. And frankly, we want to cut the crap and get on with being happy. We’d also like to do all of this by dinner time if possible.

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Living from the Inside

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What is happening?

I can literally feel the world inhaling. Taking in a deep breath. Savouring the quiet.

When I feel this in my body, my body relaxes.

I can also feel our collective anxiety. Have I felt anxious? Yes. Have I thought “You have got to be f*cking kidding me?” Yep.

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Artwork by Christian Schloe

Moving on from Unrequited Love

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For over a decade I did all the things I could think of, to attract and be with a romantic match. I did the work on myself- loads of it, deep work. I went to workshops on sensuality, I took up Tantra, I meditated, I cleared out my old relationships, I owned what was mine and looked at, and I mean really looked at it.

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The Labour of Love

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It has taken me years to come to terms with one of the most obvious truths about intimate relationships: that there is labour in love.

We have all heard that you can’t change a person, and that loving someone is accepting them as they are. These ideals sound great in theory, but let’s face it, none of us actually practices this with others or even ourselves.

Perhaps like me, you added some fine print:

I accept you wholeheartedly, except when you do precisely the thing that annoys me the most, after I have very patiently explained a hundred times how you should do it differently”.

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Don’t make a man feel uncomfortable and other useless advice

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Over the last month, power dynamics in relationships has been a hot topic for my clients. In particular, women have been describing what I call ‘the command’, where a man instructs a woman about what she should be doing. I know for myself, this immediately shuts down my body and my heart. And it is difficult to transition from these interactions into more sensual and sexual spaces. So, what is going on here between men and women in romantic relationships?

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