Living from the Inside

What is happening?

I can literally feel the world inhaling. Taking in a deep breath. Savouring the quiet.

When I feel this in my body, my body relaxes.

I can also feel our collective anxiety. Have I felt anxious? Yes. Have I thought “You have got to be f*cking kidding me?” Yep.

And yet, I feel the safety of the familiar. I know how to manage my relationships while everyone else is also house-bound or working from home.

I know how what I need to feel stable. I know that the unknown can be both frightening and magical. I know how to nourish myself here. Why?

This is my third time in a decade being confined to my house for months on end.

I know what I need

I need journals. As someone who writes everyday, who wakes up and first reaches for blank pages and a pen before I even look at my phone – journals are self-care.

When you are living in the cocoon where you feel you have limited choices – burrow into your psyche. Catch the glimpses of your dreams, write down the fragments. Your intuition is speaking to you.

I need socks! It may sound glib, but as soon as I realised that we were all going to be house-bound, I gathered beautiful, colourful socks. Socks are the new shoes. And everyday they make me smile. This is the way I nourish myself with playfulness.

I need connection and creative work. I need to see my soul expressed, even if it is just for me.

I need to tap into the vastness of my strength and my vulnerability. I need somewhere to cry and let the grief pour through me.

I know the very real fears of running out of money can freak me out to the point of paralysis. And I know for me, Buddhist compassion practices can keep me sane.

I need all of me

I need the messy parts. I need the brave and tenacious parts. I need the parts that long for the sun (hey we can’t all live in Queensland). And I need the deeply wise parts of me that know this too shall pass. It always has. That is the nature of living as well as the nature of meeting our own infallibility and mortality.

What do you need?

Take a moment to breathe.

🦋 What do you need for daily nourishment?
🦋 Do you need to learn to meditate?
🦋 Do you need a strong spiritual practice?
🦋 What do you need practically to work from home?
🦋 Who do you need to call, to share with and connect?
🦋 What does your creative heart need?

Whatever life throws at you, remember when you feel like you are breaking down and crashing, you are probably breaking through into a deeper level of strength and spirit.

I remember my father saying to me when I was a teen “This is all character building”. And my reply in the midst of my parent’s chaotic lives “I have enough character now”. And in many ways that is true, the foundations of my tenacity, my strength and the trust in my own wisdom was forged then