Moving on from Unrequited Love

Artwork by Christian Schloe

For over a decade I did all the things I could think of, to attract and be with a romantic match. I did the work on myself- loads of it, deep work. I went to workshops on sensuality, I took up Tantra, I meditated, I cleared out my old relationships, I owned what was mine and looked at, and I mean really looked at it.

I recognised I was attracted to the dance of unrequited love. You know the one where you keep hoping, and keep framing his actions so that eventually he will choose you, turn up on your doorstep and say I can’t believe I waited this long – please forgive me. And then, when I was at one of my lowest points, struggling with a chronic health condition, emotionally sailing highs and lows, a fantastic man sailed right into my life. I am a lot more messy since he arrived. I have had to reveal my vulnerabilities and be witnessed by another person, intimately.

So here’s what I have to tell you – there is nothing wrong with you. There is not a perfect invisible formula that if you just get it right- the right mix of available, confident, sensual, loving, good cooking, sassy lingerie and only then will he show up. What I want is for you to be spared all the angst I endured. I know you are thinking: “Just one more thing to fix and then it will happen, there is some secret I just need to discover, puzzle to solve. The fact that a romantic man of the quality has not walked through my door, is evidence that I just haven’t done enough work yet.” Bar humbug.

He is not absent because you haven’t done enough. He is on his way and moving towards you just as surely as you are moving towards him. Requited love is so much more satisfying.